By Megan Kirby

November 3, 2009

Dan Brown books have long been labeled as guilty pleasures. Whether rushing through the action-packed Da Vinci Code (2003) or laughing at Tom Hanks’ matted hair in the movie adaptation, the results of Brown empire have always been entertaining. His newest addition to the Robert Langdon saga, however, is all guilt without the pleasure. A sequel six years in the making, The Lost Symbol (509 pages. Doubleday. $29.95) plods along with none of the excitement and charm of Brown’s earlier works.

When Langdon arrives in the nation’s capital, he learns that his close friend and mentor Peter Solomon has been kidnapped. In order to save Solomon, Langdon must solve a series of ancient Masonic clues. By this point, Dan Brown plots seem like the result of some insane mad lib. Insert a secret society (this time, the Masons), a masochistic antagonist (a tattooed, homicidal maniac), and a renowned city filled with secret passages and symbols (Washington D.C.)

Langdon returns in top form—he’s still handsome, athletic, and devilishly clever, which is exactly what makes him so frustrating. A dash of charm is exciting, but a barrel full is sickening. This time, his female companion is Peter Solomon’s sister Katherine, who is similarly prodigal. Not only is she attractive and funny, but she’s pioneered a new brand of science that’s going to revolutionize the world. Clearly, they’re a match made in literary heaven.

Puzzles that have hidden the most sacred of Mason secrets for centuries are a snap for Langdon and Katherine who always solve them in one sitting. Why would the Masons protect all of their secrets with puzzles that are as easy as the Monday morning Sudoku?

The story is overstuffed with historical trivia. This time, Brown chronicles the history of the Masons and their roles in founding America. In past novels, Brown has interspersed mini lessons that flavor the novels like marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms. This round, you’re stuck with a whole bowl of marshmallows—might seem like a good idea at first, but by the end you’re ready to vomit. 

People don’t read Brown novels for quality writing, they read them for fun. Brown’s writing has never been Pulitzer-winning, but he’s always told a roller coaster of a story. In Lost Symbol, the ride is broken down, and it’s not worth the wait anyway. Find a new theme park, because this trip with Robert Langdon is simply no fun.